


Drunk in Love

by Sakihana



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Bottom Dean, Drama, Drunken Confessions, Drunken Flirting, Drunken Kissing, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Light Angst, M/M, Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining, Pining, Top Castiel, Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-25
Updated: 2017-10-09
Packaged: 2019-01-05 07:18:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12185460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sakihana/pseuds/Sakihana
Summary: “Screw game night! Without Cas there, tonight’s gonna be about you, your ‘manly crush’andhow you should act on it.”Dean groans, already dreading the night to come.“You’re only saying that becauseyourbet is gonna end soon” Jo interjects.“You guys have a pool for this?!”“Well,duh?” replied Gabe,oh-so-helpfully.How Dean has been harboring a massive crush on Cas since God knows when. Totally unrequited though. Or is it?Featuring a drunk Cas, best friends thatjustwon't leave your love life alone and misunderstandings.





	1. Getting (accidentally) Drunk

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! Thanks for clicking, or maybe accidentally stumbling onto this fic. XD
> 
> This chapter is basically the backstory and start of the plot. Written in Dean’s point of view.
> 
> Trigger warning for being handed drinks and getting drunk.  
> Is it considered trigger warning if the person drinks it willingly though..? :/

Friday is the day of the week that just wont come soon enough. Especially Friday nights, the night when they’d all empty their agenda to meet, eat and basically share gossips about their workplace. This week, the designated place was Cas and Dean’s.

Cas and Dean has shared their apartment since their college days. Where Dean is a scholarship student that cant afford a place to stay; and Castiel is your everyday-sheltered-kid-gone-independent trying desperately to find a roommate that can keep him alive. Luckily Dean can cook, fix broken stuff, sweep and mop, etc, etc, y’know, the usual house chores; _and_ actually enjoy doing them (as much as he would never admit it).  

So Sammy, their common acquaintance, being Dean’s little brother and Cas’ nerd friend (they’re _both_ nerds, really). Suggested them to share the flat together. And against all the odds, they hit it off completely. Sharing what their now common friends—best friends, _really_ —call; their _profound bond._ Knowing almost everything about the others’ habit and way of thinking and stuff. _Almost_ everything, though, because Cas doesn’t and will never know of Dean’s blatantly obvious massive totally straight man-crush on him. 

Which is both a blessing and a curse when they both grew too fond of their flat and neighborhood, that upon graduating they just don’t have the heart to move out to some other place. Even when they both have more than enough cash to find a flat for each one of them. And Cas’ work place is like a two hour commute, additionally forcing (not really, but it never hurts to put it that way to cash in favors later) Dean to wake way earlier to make breakfast although his work place is only like a five minute walk from the flat.

“Mornin’ sunshine!” Dean glanced at his back to the opening door, “coffee?” 

Placing a cup of coffee on their dining table, Dean hastily returned to the now golden brown pancake cooling off in the pan. Taking a generous gulp, Cas moaned over the cup of coffee.

Muttering a small, “what did I ever do to deserve you.” 

“I honestly don’t know, Cas, clearly I’m too good for you.”

“I was talking to the coffee, Dean.”

“Well I don’t think you need your breakfast anymore as you’re already your snarky sassy self,” was Dean’s sarcastic reply after a small scoff.

Which Cas reacted to snatching a plateful of pancakes that has been sitting beside the stove, just begging to be feasted on and the honey jar that is strategically placed beside it.

“Hey! That’s mine!”

Adding a very generous amount of honey on top of it, Castiel earned a very distinct _ew, never mind_ from Dean. Cas rubbed his hands together before he gobbled them up. Dean joining a few seconds later with his own plateful of pancakes _and_ maple syrup. Because Dean is classy like that. Not like some honey bee-loving-nerd. _A mere mortal like you would never understand Dean_. Just their usual morning banter. That Dean can’t help but think of how it makes them look like those old-married couples. Though he is not some high-school girl, no matter how many times Sam _and_ Charlie _and_ Jo _and Gabriel—_ well that’s practically all of his best friends—would say. _God_ , how is this his life now?

“I think I will have to miss dinner tonight.”

“No way..” Dean gaped in exaggerated horror “Its Friday, Cas!”

“Right, shit. I’ll try my best to not miss game night,” Cas said as he stood and picked up his plates.

“Let me,” Dean grabbed the plates and finished his meal to add them into the dishwasher “I know you're almost late.”

“Thanks as usual, Dean,” Cas gave him that small reserved smile that makes all the early chores always worth it.

“Y-yeah. Take care,” was all Dean could reply, trying hard to not make the _heart eyes_ Sam said he always makes.

The rest of the morning passed in relative ease, as usual. Dean turning on the washing machine, changing his clothes and going to Bobby’s for work. College was like the final push he needed to convince himself that working on cars in garages are in fact his calling and not a job to belittle. Charlie also works there, in charge of the cashier, the registry, client’s information and monthly service schedule; and all the cheap but suspiciously high quality goods that no one knows the origins of. Lunch is always at Ellen’s which is right practically in front of the garage. Jo being both the local bartender and waitress always books their special spot near the window, even during rush hour.

“Dean-o, heard my baby bro’s gonna be late tonight?” that would be Gabriel, _Gabe_ for short, the manager of the bakery right across the street.

“Yeah, said he’d probably miss dinner, but he’ll try to be home before game night.”

“Screw game night!” Charlie said in a joyous tone, ”without Cas there, tonight’s gonna be about you, your ‘manly crush’ _and_ how you should act on it.”

Dean groans, already dreading the night to come.

“You’re only saying that because _your_ bet is gonna end soon,” Jo interjects.

“You guys have a pool for this?!”

“Well, _duh_?” replied Gabe, oh-so-helpfully over his mouthful of ice cream dripping waffles.

“ _Ugh_ , seriously dude, all that sugar for lunch? You’re gonna loose your teeth soon.”

“All the more reason to enjoy ‘em now, then.”

The rest of lunch went quite pleasantly. Everyone seemingly forgetting the topic beforehand, now debating over when Gabe’s probably gonna catch diabetes. Which somehow ended up on the topic of Sam’s diet of _it’s rabbit food!_ Which everyone begrudgingly replied with _just ‘cause it’s not meat doesn’t make it less-manly, Dean_. 

They parted after Charlie finished her last bit of potatoes. Jo going back to bartending, Gabriel doing God knows what and Charlie and him to the garage. The rest of the afternoon in the garage was the usual too. Just the usual maintenance, nothing too big that he’ll end up going home late. In fact, things was wrapped up earlier than usual that he had the spare time to actually vacuum the whole flat while Charlie showers before he started cooking the onions for the meat of the menu he had in mind: classic American cheese burgers.

“God, that smells like heaven!” Charlie appears beside Dean, her ginger hair wrapped in a towel, “anything I can help with?”

“ _Nahh_ , everything’s fine; why don’t you just pretty yourself up?”

“Dean Winchester, is that your kind way of saying _I don’t want you to burn my flat down so go ahead and do those stuff girls usually do, other than cooking_?”

“ _Umm_ , maybe?” Dean laughed at his own respond.

Earning a gasped of _how dare you_ from Charlie before she laughed and disappeared to the bathroom. The sound of a hairdryer starting in the distance. 

Soon, the doorbell rang, and Jo appeared, immediately crashing on the couch muttering a _wake me up when everyone’s here_ before she started snoring softly _._ Then Gabe with his usual _Dean-o!_ Bothering the hell out of Dean in the kitchen, but actually helping the progress of the cooking so that he managed to take a shower before their Friday night officially starts.

Opening the door, Dean was greeted by a distant _why don’t we ask Dean_ and staring eyes upon entering the living room, showing the addition of his gigantic brother, a Jo that is not asleep, Charlie’s twinkling eyes and Gabe with a handful of freshly bought alcohol. _Wait did they finished off the beers he stocked up; without him? Rude._

“So, Dean, we found this.. Bra,” Sam raised it up shyly, face as red as a tomato.

“That isn’t mine,” Charlie confirms.

“-or mine,” Jo too replied.

“So _you_ are either one kinky sonofabitch, or-“

“That’s not mine, it’s Lisa’s,” Dean answered abruptly.

He does not need his kink to be discovered accidentally by his—practically family—best friends, especially because it _is_ Lisa’s. Although maybe he answered too hastily. Because he could totally word it better so that they wont discover his kink nor the bra’s relation to Lisa. 

“ _Ooh_ , Lisa, _huh_?” 

Yeah he totally could. No, you know what, maybe he can’t but he should’ve. Gabriel can be heard making ludicrous _arrr arrr_ noises while Jo and Sam cackles manically. He face-palmed, groaning to his past-self. 

“Wait, _the_ ‘Ben totally adores you, would you mind babysitting him for a while as I make up more plans and excuses to meet you _’ Lisa_??”

“Gabe, stop. And _no_ , you make her sound like-” Dean tries to explain to Charlie.

“She’s completely in a; _dare I say.._ ” Gabriel raised an eyebrow pointedly before he continued “..one-sided-love with you?” 

“It’s not like _that,_ you _and_ Lisa all know Im in love with-”

“Hey, guys! Sorry I’m late..” and speak of the devil, Cas appeared.

His suit still pristine and the sweat dripping off of his forehead totally doesn’t make him look hotter, like that one time he accidentally encountered Cas after a shower, water still dripping from his hair to the slender waist and toned— _stop_ , Dean tries to command his brain, he does not need a sudden boner, thank you very much.

” _Whoa,_ you’re soaked!” Jo observed, handing Cas a cup to drink “here, water.”

“Wait, that’s-” was all Charlie managed to say as Cas gulped the _whole_ cup down.

“This doesn’t taste like water,” Cas squinted and wheezed before he entered a coughing fit.

“Shit” was what the whole room practically said.

“What the hell did you give him?” Dean’s voice was drowned in worry.

Sam snatched the cup and sniffed it, making a face as he muttered “alcohol.”

They all know that Cas _never_ drank alcohol. For nobody knows why. Not even Gabe, his own cousin, flesh and blood—knows why. The guy just outright refused every time he’s offered.  For all they know Cas might be allergic to ale or malt or barley or whatever is in most alcohols are. Especially now that Cas stopped coughing and started to gradually limp, slumping his head on Dean’s shoulder. The room was tense with worry.

“I don’t know! I swear I didn’t—it was in a friggin’ cup, we _don’t_ put our alcohols in cups!” Jo blabbed, guilt and panic dripping off of her.

“We can’t find anymore of those stupid posh glasswares, okay!” Gabriel tried to explain, “cups holds better amounts for drinking game shots anyway!”

“Guys, stop—“ Sam, the voice of reason tried to calm everyone down “Guys! This _seriously_ isn’t the time to point fingers!”

“Whoa, _whoa_ , don’t die on me Cas..” All attentions was back to Cas when he shifted more of his weight onto Dean—who was barely sitting up, a hand holding the weight of both bodies from falling all over the couch.

“M’fine, Dee.. U smell nice.”

Did Cas just _nuzzled on his shoulder??_ Dean stiffened, not knowing how to react. Because the slightest movement feels like it might burst his rapidly beating heart, worry long since forgotten. His chest felt tight, _too_ tight. But all in all, Cas nuzzling into him, pushing his weight onto him, it felt; _nice_. No one can really blame Dean for the small blush creeping on his cheeks. Or the stray hand that’s now brushing Cas’ hair, playing with it slightly. Or his body generally closing the gap between them. Or—

“Oh my God!” Charlie’s shriek snapped him back to reality, “he’s a total lightweight!”

“ _That’s_ why he never joins our drinking games..” Sam and Jo seems to realize.

“Not to mention being some cuddly octopus of a drunk.” Gabriel snorted.

“M’not drunk!” Castiel intelligently replied, a hand now squeezing onto Dean somewhat possessively, turning Dean’s already red face a shade darker.

“Ookay.. That’s the cue people, out!”

“Wait, wha.. Guys at least help me move him to—“ was all Dean managed to say as his _best friends_ started leaving, picking their bottles with them.

A cheshire grin fixed on Charlie, Gabriel, Jo and even Sam as they exit the living room. Followed by the bang of a door closing with distancing shuffle of legs and the giggled murmurs of his so-called-best-friends. One of these days he’s gonna have to kill at least one of them. Because 4 on 1 is just totally unfair.

Dean softly pushed Cas off of his shoulder, managing to only make Cas hold onto him tighter, resulting to both of them crashing on the couch. A moment of silence passed by before Dean heard soft snoring from the man on top of him.

“Seriously Cas, if you wanna pass out at least do it on the bed.” Dean muttered to no one in particular.

Garnering his strength, he pushed Cas aside. Standing up, Dean stretched out his limbs. Thinking of how to move Cas to his bed without having to bridal carry him. When a hand tugged on his flannel’s cuffs.

“S’it true, Dean? That yer ’n love with..”

Dean is totally not confessing his who-knows-how-long-crush-bordering-love to a drunken Cas that most probably wont remember a thing in the morning. Or maybe he should _because_ Cas most probably wont remember a thing in the morning. Being silent and deep in his thoughts seemed to give a drunken Cas his own version of a conclusion though, as Cas suddenly had the strength to pull Dean down into his eye level and just smashed their lips together.

The kiss was sloppy,  barely even a kiss. Just a mesh of mouth on mouth with Cas’ hands cradling Dean’s head, holding him into place. Cas was pushing his tongue, trying to gain access to Dean’s mouth, but Dean was just too shocked to react.

Satisfied, frustrated, or both, Cas somehow ended the kiss, parting his lips from Dean’s, but not from Dean’s body. As Cas’ tongue now trailed Dean’s jaw, moving down to his collar bone with the occasional nibbling. Drawing a long moan from Dean, a moan that seemingly went straight to Cas’ dick. If the thing that’s now poking on Dean’s tights is any indication.

Finally getting his senses back, Dean tried to push Cas off. Eliciting a whine from Cas.

“M’ I n’good ‘nuf fer u..?” Cas’ slur was already making it hard for Dean to understand his words, the mouth insistently sucking on his nape surely ain’t helping.

“Seriously, dude, you’re drunk. You’ll probably forget about all this in the morning..”

 _I hope not_. Was supplied from his stupid lovesick brain. _But it’s surely better than you remembering and regretting_. His helpful brain added before he jammed the rest of his thoughts.

With a sigh Dean finally pushed Cas away, “Lets just get you to bed.”

Carrying Cas all the way to his bed wasn’t a problem. The problem was sleeping soundly after all _that_. Dean allowed himself a small smile at the memory of Cas kissing him. Drunk or not, it was still _Cas_. No matter how much the fact that ‘this would never happen _if_ he was sober’ hits him hard. So hard that the smile was washed off of his face. And Dean is left with the glaring fact that _yes_ , Cas was _just_ drunk. ‘Cause this will never happen if he was sober.


	2. Feeling (undoubtedly) Drunk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the kudos and subscription! I honestly didn’t think I could get a subscription, so yay!
> 
> This chapter is kind of a mesh of Cas and Dean’s point of view. Transitioning in a somewhat back-and-fort thingy, because separating chapters by POV are gonna make these chapters a tad bit too short (as what happened in chapter one ;w;)
> 
> Without further ado..

The alarm blared murderously. Castiel contemplates how his past self thought that sleeping in is not healthy, thus having an alarm _even_ on weekends. He might as well die right here, right now from the harsh ringing of the alarm amplified by his already throbbing head. The few memories of last night came in as expected. Clear up to the point he chugged that thing Jo gave him..

He was already late for their usual Friday nights but if he could help it, he might as well run all the way to the flat. He doesn’t want to be too late to just come into everyone already too drunk to explain what he missed. So ran he did. And sweat was ensured.

Hands on the door knob, he was about to push in and enter. When he heard snip-bits of his friends’ conversation. _Suspiciously_ in hushed tones.

Are they badmouthing him? _Well this could just be the perfect blackmail material,_ he thought as he pressed his ears onto the door.

“She’s completely in a; _dare I say.._ ”

Gabriel was using that tone he used when he was teasing someone. Someone in the room then. And with the use of the word ‘she’, Castiel doubts its about him. His grasp on the knob tightened, his other hand ready to push the door open.

“..one-sided-love with you?”

Then Castiel heard a grunt that sounded very familiar. Like those grunts that Dean— _Wait a minute._ The context of the conversation was something that he needs to clarify. Pausing, he pressed his ears back to the door.

“It’s not like _that,_ you _and_ Lisa all know Im in love with-”

That was Dean’s voice, for sure. And apparently Dean was about to confess who he’s in love with.

Well he already knows its Lisa. But hearing Dean say it out loud is gonna be like a slap in the face. A slap from reality. That _it_ really never will be; _him_. He knows how happy Dean is with Lisa, has been for the longest of time. Even if he thinks Dean deserves someone _else_ , someone that knows him longer, better, _someone like him,_ the thought was stopped as soon as it appeared.

As long as Dean is happy, all is good. Besides, Lisa is not that bad a person. She’s almost perfect actually. Which is all the more reason why he just can’t like her. Because he has no rational reason to tell Dean to avoid Lisa. Not without dumbly confessing anyway.

So Castiel childishly tries to run away from the truth. By abruptly entering the room, making his presence known, halting the conversation before Dean can say Lisa’s name.

“Hey, guys! Sorry I’m late..”

All eyes in the room was on him now. And self-consciously, he noticed how disgusting he must have looked. Dress shirt seemingly plastered onto him. Sweat if not drying off stickily, still dripping off of him.

” _Whoa,_ you’re soaked!” Jo said, as if it’s not obvious enough. Though she thoughtfully handed him a cup of water. Something he just realized his dry throat and lips really wanted to drown in. So he gulped the cup down without a second thought. Barely noticing how Charlie’s eyes grew a tad bit as she said _something_ that sounded like a question..?

Finally getting a proper taste of the liquid he consumed; his brain supplied, _this doesn’t taste like water_. He cant help the squint as he inspects the cup. When a harsh wheeze came out and suddenly he was coughing repeatedly. As if choking on the liquid. Alcohol.

_Shit,_ was what he heard the whole room said, and what he too had in mind. Before his vision went all blurry. Though he did somehow recognize a figure—Dean stepping closer to him, _but just not close enough_. Everyone seemed to argue about something. Something that Castiel couldn’t care less. He just wants Dean to close that gap between them.

Why isn’t Dean closing in? Well if Dean is too shy to do it, he might as well take his chances. The second he gulped the alcohol, he’s already in dream land anyway. He knows how much of a lightweight he is, thus why he actively avoids alcohol.

Somehow, closing in was not as comfortable as he thought. Maybe because he’s never done this in real life, so he can’t really imagine it happening properly. The Dean here was placing his hands on the _wrong_ parts of his body (and not the right kind of wrong either). He wanted those hands on his back, cradling him; not on his shoulder, and certainly not holding him like a fragile thing.

Thus he tries to tell dream Dean that he’s fine, and since he’s having difficulty moving his mouth, he said it while closing in further. Well maybe brushing his nose onto Dean’s shoulder wont actually help his speech, but this is dreamland, so who cares. It feels nice. Dean smells nice. So nice that he wants to just bury his nose there. Or is that what he did? Whatever. Castiel is really just imagining all this anyway.

Then as if on cue, those hands moved. Now warm hands are cradling him, caressing his hair. Just perfect. If only his imagination doesn’t include Gabriel’s annoying snort. Speaking of which, did his cousin just called him _drunk?_ In his dreams? Wow, maybe he hates Gabriel more than he knows.

Of course he’s not drunk, he can’t be. This is just a dream after all. How can one get drunk in a dream? Apparently though, Castiel can’t really control his dreams since now dream Dean was trying to push him off. _Simply unacceptable!_ His drunken mind thought to himself.

So of course the right thing to do is to pull Dean in. And did _that_ felt _just_ right. Their bodies slotted together like they’re meant to be. Next thing he knows, he’s in cloud nine, kissing Dean senseless. Well maybe _too_ senseless since dream Dean isn’t exactly responding. _Oh well_ , he might as well move on to Dean’s collarbones then.

Now _that_ certainly garnered one _delicious_ response. Or so Castiel thought. _Tch_ , even in his dreams, he’s not good enough for Dean. Dream Dean is pushing him away. Leaving him.

Even in his dreams, Dean wont stay with him.

_Ugh_ , that is way too much negativity for a dream, and for a morning recallection. Shutting his alarm off, Castiel tries to get out of bed, controlling his limbs unsuccessfully with his head still pounding. His morning wood more of a curse than a delight, “kill me now,” he can’t help but muttered to the silent room.

Now where did they keep their tylenol..

Obviously the living room wasn’t a good choice for his tylenol hunt. A thought that his hungover mind might’ve missed. But he couldn’t really miss the bra lying there gloriously for everyone to see. _Fuck_. He does not need a reminder that Dean is, if not completely; straight. _And_ will never reciprocate his feelings. Like ever.

Oh, will you look at that. Here comes Dean, a hickey practically on display right on his collar bone. That hickey was _not_ there yesterday morning, nor was it there when Castiel went back. Which means he and Lisa had quite some fun _after_ he passed out drunk. Well, good thing he was drunk, he heard absolutely nothing. How pleasant. _Not_.

“Mornin’ Cas, ”Dean yawns, “ _whew_ , last night was crazy..” he said. That totally-not-adorable-smile plastered on his face, hands scratching his neck. Probably stiff from Lisa sleeping over it.

Even though Castiel has no right, he can’t help the stab deep in his gut. Honestly, he’s tired of this. And the lack of tylenol is definitely not helping.

“Dean, I don’t mind you having sex with others _or_ bringing them here. But _really?_ ” Castiel raised the bra to emphasize, ”Can’t you _at least_ keep it indoors? Seriously.”

_Ok,_ maybe that was _a bit_ too much, judging by the frown on Dean’s face. _Scratch that_ , that was definitely too much.

“Well fuck you too, Cas.”

Castiel totally had it coming when Dean threw something at his face. Holding in an _ow!_ he rubs over his forehead, hearing Dean distantly stomping off. He sighs as he picks up the thing Dean threw at him which turns out to be a bottle of tylenol. Damn, Dean was even kind enough to get him tylenol.

Almost stumbling over, “stupid bra,” Castiel muttered as he moved to the kitchen. Getting a glass of water, this time he checks to make sure it really _is_ water.

Having that confirmed, he took in a few pills before drinking the water. Still rubbing his forehead, an inevitable lump forming, he searches for a pen and the stack of sticky notes they usually leave around.

Sticking a note onto the tylenol bottle, he placed it on top of the coffee table. Knowing that Dean would probably hole himself up in his room until he’s sure Castiel has left the flat, he strolls back to his room for a quick shower.

Checking the flat before going out, he can’t unseen the bra still lying about, “Dean! I’m going to Gabriel’s,” Castiel said to the unresponsive flat.

 

* * *

 

“Dean, I’m going to Gabriel’s” Dean can hear Cas say before the sound of a door closing follows.

_Yeah, right_. Like the reason he’s inside the room, holing up, is ‘cause he’s sulking about what happened. _You totally are though_ , his stupid brain supplies, rewinding the events earlier.

True, maybe bringing up last night was not a wise idea, but Dean needed to know just how much Cas remembered last night. Still—was clinging onto that minuscule hope that Cas remembered and was _actually_ doing it willingly.

_Of course_ , when did _anything_ Dean hoped for actually came true?

Cas sounded downright pissed. And maybe it was the hungover speaking, but he does _not_ get to say things like how Dean is some horny voyeur. _Especially_ after _he—_ drunk or not—kissed Dean senseless just a few hours ago. Not that it’ll matter to the guy though. He just suggested that it was okay for Dean to bring people over for sex.

So, yeah, Dean did the most mature thing he could think of then.

Throwing a tantrum or better yet, a bottle of tylenol (he even prepared the thing knowing Cas would get one hell of a hangover). Additionally not bothering to check whether or not Cas managed to catch it. Though judging by the muttered ‘ _ow’_ he heard, it might’ve been a headshot. _Well, great_. Recalling all this just makes him feel even more of a douche.

Still in his bedroom, Dean rolled around his bed. He was _not_ sulking, therefore the sign that Cas was leaving their flat _was no reason_ for him to leave the room. Or so he tried to convince himself.

_Definitely_ not pouting, he scrolled through his text messages. Replying to the daily antics he and Charlie usually debates, checking in with Jo that he is alive and breathing; and adding that he’s perhaps going to visit the _Roadhouse_ soon, judging by the text message from Sam. Going about as his usual formal self..

 

_Hey Dean._

_Just saw your texts, meet up at Ellen’s?_

_I’ll be waiting._

 

The way Sammy phrased it implies a ‘yes Dean, _we are_ going to talk about it’. Kinda regretting how Dean practically sent an SOS message to Sam before he slept earlier that morning. But after what happened with Cas earlier..

He just can’t escape this conversation can he?

Waiting for new text messages to come was taking too long. Thus Dean stood up and finally decided to get outside, his stomach grumbled over the need of attention.

Skimming through the fridge and cabinets, he decided on a quick simple meal. Skimming through the fridge for ingredients for sandwich; he spotted some leftover meat, opened up sausage packages, bits of ham, lettuces-going-bad-soon, some cheese and a probably week long bread. The sandwich he made was an all-meat-deluxe though, because screw Cas and his constant reminder of Dean’s lack of greenery diet. Those things are for rabbits.

Finishing up his sandwich, Dean strolled into the living room. Noticing the bottle of tylenol and an apparent sticky note stuck onto it, he picked it up. Cas’ voice audible as he read through it.

 

_Sorry Dean, hangover got the better of me :(_

_Thanks for the tylenol though :”)_

 

Damn, now Dean just regrets the whole mess in the morning. Feeling a bit apologetic, just _a bit,_ because Cas _was_ at fault and he’s not up to forgiving that easily—he went to the kitchen to make an extra sandwich, for Cas. Adding Castiel’s favorite honey just on top of the meat, _ugh, disgusting_. But just how Cas liked it, though Cas may not realize. _God_ , if they weren’t living in the same flat, he’d be some stalker.

Putting Cas’ sandwich into a container and storing it into the fridge because who knows when Cas’ll be back, Dean went inside his room to take a quick shower. And also putting Lisa's bra to avoid further complications. He should really just return it to Lisa soon..

 

* * *

 

The trip to Gabriel’s was short, manageable by foot. Even with the additional stopping by a to-go-cafe for his daily caffein intake. It managed to clear his head a bit off of the annoying headache, one of the reasons why he would never willingly drink.

He rang the bell a few times before he hears things cluttering and a distinct _shit!_ from behind the doors. Typical of Gabriel.

“Oh, hi-ya Cassie,” Gabriel greets upon opening the door.

“Gabriel.”

The shorter man stepped back. Gesturing for his cousin to enter. Castiel immediately went for the sofa and sat there. Head buried in his hands, he sighed.

“I take it something bad happened?”

_God_. He can’t believe he actually went to Gabriel for this. _Gabriel_. He thinks to himself, Sam would’ve been a better choice.

“Hey, I can sense all those internal monologue of yours mocking me.”

_Might as well do this already_. Sighing again, Castiel begins, “it’s about Dean.”

“You don’t say,” Gabriel actually scoffed at him.

“What does that mean?”

“Well, after getting drunk last night you kinda went all handsy on Dean-o.“

“I, what-?!”

“Umm.. Shit?” Gabriel pauses, “was I not supposed to say that?”

“No, no, Gabe, go on..”

“You just called me _Gabe_ ,” Gabriel deadpans, “I was not supposed to say that.. Y’know what, I have enough problems as it is. I don’t need an annoyed Dean and therefore Sam, Charlie, Jo, and _oh,_ look at that, basically _almost_ _everyone_ in my life—out for my beautiful ass. So, sorry-not-sorry. But not this time baby-bro.”

Gabriel tries to usher Castiel out _politely_. _Can’t blame a man for trying,_ Gabriel muttered, before ultimately using sheer power to outright push Castiel _genty_ (as Gabriel so kindly put it) out of his premises.

“Wait, wait—wait! Gabriel!” Castiel tries to hold onto the door frame, “at least tell me if Lisa came over.”

“Lisa? Why’d you think..”

_Oh_. So the hickey on Dean’s collar bone _wasn’t_ from Lisa? Castiel debates over feeling happy or dejected. Before bringing to mind what Gabriel said before all that.

Did he _really_ got ‘all handsy’ on Dean? _Ugh_. The day is slowly crawling into his top ten worst days of his life. Because getting all handsy on Dean ‘accidentally’ _and_ not remembering it, was _not_ okay on Dean, it was rather rude. Maybe that’s why Dean snapped easily this morning. Additionally, though, Castiel would very much like to remember the experience.

Realizing how his legs has brought him back to their flat, Castiel opens the door with his spare key, “Dean?” Castiel called out to the somehow still silent flat.

Standing in front of Dean’s bedroom door, Castiel gathers the courage to knock on the door. Once. Twice. Thrice. “Dean, are you still in there?”

Actually getting a bit worried by the second, “I’m coming in, okay?” Castiel slowly opened the door. Revealing a dark, Dean-less (as he flicked the lights on) room. For safety precautions, Castiel texted Sam, asking Dean’s whereabouts.

Getting only a short; ‘ _yeah, he’s with me right now, talk to you later_ ’ reply from Sam.

Sam doesn’t usually reply that curtly unless the situation calls for it. Which means Dean’s either with Sam, but asking Sam not to tell Castiel where he is, or Castiel did something else that Gabriel did not mention that Sam really did not approve of last night. Both situations are just _bad_. Then Castiel hears the sound of his stomach churning.

Recalling that he skipped through breakfast, Castiel rummages around their refrigerator for brunch. Finding a freshly made sandwich that may be the byproduct of Dean’s leftover, or Dean actually still caring about him to make an extra. Either way, his stomach growls for it.

As he inspects it, he found that the sandwich has some lettuces and a sticky substance, that turns out to be honey. He can’t help but smile a little. This is definitely a sandwich Dean made for him. Already missing the warm smile that usually came with an even fresher version of his usual meal.

Munching his way for the sake of calming his stomach down, he then puts the container into the dishwasher. Though forgetting how to actually start it up, and fumbled around for a few minutes with it. Gosh, Dean really did all the chores around here.

With a sated stomach, his apparent exhaustion calls for some nap. Castiel sets up an alarm for later that evening. Getting his blanket, he moved to the couch to try and get himself just comfortable _enough_ for a short shut-eye. As to still hear Dean when he returns. Or waking up to the blaring alarm nearing night fall to try and find Dean. Because if Dean is not back by nightfall then something _really bad_ might happen, though chances are it’s already begun.

 

* * *

 

Moaning over the bites of Ellen’s special burger—because even after every meal, there’s always space for burgers, especially Ellen’s. Though Dean might need to stop soon because the small pudge on his stomach may not be so small anymore if he keeps this up.

The sound of a cough pulls his foul mood back, reminding why he was there in the first place.

“I don’t mind you having a date with that burger _after_ we talk about this Dean, but it’s getting a little bit disturbing to be honest,” Sam says as he plays with the salad in front of him.

“You’re just regretting not ordering real human food instead of rabbit food,” Dean replies over a mouthful of his burger.

“Dean, don’t change the topic.”

Putting the remnants of his burger down, Dean wipes his mouth with the back of his hand before he fiddles his fingers on a tissue, wiping the grease off of them. After a moment of silence, Dean decided to just say it bluntly. Like ripping a band aid, _right?_

“Cas kissed me.”

Choking on his cabbage a bit, Sam coughs and tries to swallow, asking with a hint of joy, “he what?”

“After you guys left, he kissed me and passed out,” Dean’s small smile at the memory slowly turned into afrown, “..forgetting everything in the morning.”

“Wow, that’s.. Umm.. That’s _something_ all right,” Sam says as he took in a few gulps of his water.

“Amazing Sammy, I didn’t know _something_ was happening,” Dean replied sarcastically.

“This is a lot to take in, okay? No need to be an ass about it,” at the look of Dean’s face, Sam continues, “besides what’s the matter if Cas doesn’t remember a thing about it?”

“It matters damnit!”

The smack of hands on table was loud enough that the whole diner was now looking at their table. Apologizing silently to the other patrons, Sam tries to calm Dean down. But before he begins, his phone chimes.

“That better not be Cas,” Dean says as he averted his gaze and folds his arms against his chest. Checking at his phone, Sam tries to hold his grimace. It is Cas.

“Y-yea it’s not Cas, just some phone bill,” Sam pocketed his phone and stood, “sorry, Dean I need to go to the toilet for a bit though.”

The text from Cas was a question of Dean’s whereabouts. Judging by the worry implied from the text, something else happened in the morning, though Castiel seemed apologetic about it. Replying to Cas’ message briefly as to not make Dean suspicious, Sam pocketed his phone and went back to their booth. Finding an addition of Jo sitting where he was before.

“Hey Sam, Dean here was telling me how helpful of an adviser you’ve been,” Jo snickered at her own words, but noticing the tension between them, she stood up, “as much as I want to stay here, I gotta go back to work. But you sir, are going to tell me everything sometime later, ya’ hear me?”

Waving Jo goodbye, Sam sank into the booth, noting how Dean is avoiding his gaze, he cleared his throat to catch his brother’s attention, “sorry Dean, that wasn’t what I meant to say..”

Sighing, Dean spoke, gazing at the tiles, “No Sammy, don’t apologize, you’re right, it doesn’t matter. Cas was just drunk anyways, I’m making too much of a deal about this. It was just a kiss.. no biggie.”

_Shit._ Sam internally smacks himself. Of course after saying something like that and leaving Dean alone, Dean’s gonna somehow put the blame onto himself. A trait the older Winchester often does.

“No _Dean_ , don’t say things like _that_. It does matter.”

“What Sam, what do you want me to say?!” Dean practically snapped, ignoring how they’re in a public space, “clearly Cas doesn’t have feelings for me! Especially after he said he was okay with me bringing people over for sex. So yeah, a little kiss doesn’t matter”

“He said what?” Sam doesn’t even bother to hide the shock behind his words, “Shit. Sorry Dean..”

The two Winchesters sat in silence. The understanding that Dean’s feelings really are one sided doomed onto them. Because as much as the others liked to tease Dean about it, they were all pretty sure Cas felt the same, Sam included. So the fact that Castiel can say things like that just means that all those teasing were giving Dean a lot of false hope. False hope that’s now eating Dean inside out.

“This is pointless. I’m going back.”

Gathering his keys and putting some bills down, Dean was about to stand when a hand grabbed onto his arms.

“Dean, wait. I’m really sorry okay, I didn’t know..” Sam tried his best to make his brother feel better, “if you wanna talk about it, just text me, ‘k?”

“It’s okay Sam. You’ve done enough,” Dean didn’t mean the bite behind his tone but he’s honestly too tired to sugarcoat his words, “I-I’ll talk to you later,” he tried to continue for damage control before he stood up to leave the diner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaand cut! 
> 
> The balance between conversing and detailing aren’t too messed up, I hope?
> 
> Oh, and a side note that the Cas I had in mind for this story is a combination of the usual nerdy Castiel meshed with endverse!Cas. I’m not really sure.. What d’you think?
> 
> That aside, thanks for reading through. Kudos are much appreciated :3


	3. Leaving (regretfully) Drunk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woohoo! Made it to another chapter~
> 
> Next chapter is still in progress, so for now enjoy the third chapter! :)  
> (wait is that something I should say on a somewhat angsty fanfic? Oh well)

The bang of the door was hard enough not to miss, but even more as Castiel was sleeping on the couch. Waking up all alert, he checks to make sure _it is_ Dean. Seeing Dean in an even fouler mood than earlier though, he can’t help but feel even more worried and antsy.

“Dean about this morning—“

“Shut it Cas, ’m not in the mood,” Dean interjects, not even bothering to stop his flurry of habitual movements. Shoes here, keys there, jackets on the hanger..

“Dean _seriously_ I’m sorry,” Castiel tries to offer.

Sighing, Dean turned his gaze at Castiel for a moment before continuing his movements, “this is not about what happened in the morning, _Cas_.”

“Then _whatever_ it is I did, I apologize Dean,” Castiel can’t help but feel that this is about him.

“Whatever that is, _huh_..” Dean muttered with a mocking smile, before he continued, raising his volume significantly, ”you don’t even know what your apologizing for!”

“Then tell me!” Castiel can’t help but bark back, “at least _I’m_ trying to fix this—this, whatever happened last night!”  
  
Dean scoffed at that.

“ _Nothing_ happened last night,” he said muttering to himself the last part of, “nothing _you_ remembered anyway..”

“Well clearly something did, because you wont be acting like _this_ otherwise!”

“Just drop it, Cas!” Dean huffed his reply before returning to his room, effectively ending the conversation one sidedly.

Shuffling his hair frustratingly, Castiel opens his phone to ask Sam if he knew what was up with Dean. Before he were to ask though, Sam had actually left quite a few text messages..

 

_Dean’s going back, he’s_ not _in a good mood._

_Whatever you do,_ do not _bring up the topic of yesterday_ or _this morning._

 

_Well shit_. Castiel can’t help but think to himself. Of course he would do the two things even Sam advised against. Texting back a ‘ _too late :( what now..?_ ’ with hopes that Sam can figure things out. Although feeling so much like an unintelligent coward, it would be better than ruining the already bad situation as it is. 

A reply to meet at the bar Charlie works at was not what he had in mind for damage control though. But he’d have to trust the younger Winchester for now..

Feeling especially tricked when he saw not only Charlie but also Jo _and_ Gabriel alongside Sam, Castiel was about to outright bail out when unluckily, they noticed his arrival and called out onto him.

“Cassie! Where’d _you_ think you’re going, now?” Gabriel practically dragged Castiel to their booth.

“So..?” Charlie tried to start the conversation, getting only a sigh from Castiel.

“Sam here said you’ve managed to annoy Dean, and quite marvelously at that.”

Sighing again, Castiel tried to reply calmly, “I came here to fix it, not get a lecture about it. Now if none of you have anything useful to say, I would rather go back and _actually_ try to mend the problem.”

“Seriously Cas, loosen down a bit,” Jo offered him a drink. A drink that reminded Castiel of how all this mess even started. A drink that to everyone’s surprise, he drank generously. People drink their feelings away constantly anyway, right? What’s the harm in engaging it once in a while?

This time, the slight buzz actually soothed him, lulling him to sleep instead of passing out immediately. The buzz surrounded by the muffled conversation of his friends..

“He’s a lightweight all right.. That was just beer that he...” that was Jo’s voice.

“What were you thinking……!“ Gabriel’s.

The conversation unfolding around him was snip bits of clarity and unclarity at the same time. Giving him no real understanding of what his friends were talking about. Especially when his consciousness was starting to doze off with him.

“..wait, you’re saying that drunk Cas kissed…”

“Yeah but he…” that was Sam’s voice again ”…in the morning.”

The last sentence he heard was decidedly clearer than the rest. Sam’s brief _‘Dean said he’s on his way’_ before the complete silence took him in.

The morning after this time wasn’t as murderous as last time. To begin with, this time Castiel woke up at his own volition, not some alarm clock’s. Recognizing his bedroom’s ceiling, he looked around to check for the time. His clock sitting above the end table beside a bottle of tylenol and a glass of water.

He must’ve been such an annoyance for Dean. Being even more of an unnecessary hassle to a Dean that, despite has seen better days, was kind enough to not only bring him home but also prepared medicines for his headache. Although lucky him, this time his head wasn’t pounding as badly. Just a constant slight buzz that he clearly deserved for drowning in his feelings.

Walking out of his bedroom, he found that the flat was empty. As expected, actually. It’s not like Dean usually stays on Sundays. Usually Dean would go somewhere to have fun. Although that usually includes Castiel.

Finding breakfast—or perhaps lunch, judging by the time shown on the clock and the coldness of the food on the table. Food that Dean without doubt had prepared for Castiel.

The rest of the day was spent checking through his work emails and trying to think of a way to apologize to Dean properly. The sound of his ignored stomach requesting for dinner was little to no concern for him. Besides he doesn’t want to risk the chances of missing Dean coming back when he went out to eat.

Though take-out was an option, Castiel just didn’t have the appetite to eat something that wasn’t _Dean-made_.

At a little after one a.m. in the morning, it was clear that Dean wasn’t going back anytime soon. Castiel wanted to wait Dean out to confront him properly, but it’s Monday tomorrow, the start of his usual weekday work. Work that brought the money they used to pay for their flat. He doesn’t want to get fired over something as simple as ‘sorting his feelings out’. He’d at least do _something_ right these days.

Too bad the next few days, Dean seemed to have shifted his schedule. They rarely meet in the day as it is but nowadays, Castiel rarely even _sees_ Dean. Only glimpses of him leaving when Castiel just arrived back at the evening and another of him leaving when Castiel just woke up at the morning.

Clearly Dean was avoiding him. But even then, Dean never neglected the house chores.

Waking up in the morning, he’d always find warm breakfast and occasionally packed lunch, albeit no Dean around. Same goes for dinner. Arriving back home, dinner is always already set on the table, but again, without Dean.

It seriously feels like Castiel is living with a ghost or some invisible paid maid or something. Deciding that it all has got to stop, he tried to clear a day in his schedule. To his best efforts, 'clearing a day' resulted in going back earlier from work that day.

But clearly Dean had plans of his own.

Will you look at that, Castiel has just _the best_ timing ever. Opening the door, he was greeted by the sight of Lisa and Dean in a heated making out session.

Lisa’s hands was all over Dean but Dean’s was somehow in between them, not caressing her, _as if_ he’s not exactly comfortable with the idea of kissing her, _as if_ he’s trying to push her— _damn it, stop reading too much into things_ , he tired to halt his thoughts. Dean’s hands could very well be there to grope on her breasts. _Don’t you remember that they’d even left her bra the last time something like this happened?_ He tried to remind himself.

Realizing that the couple has stopped their making out session and was currently staring at Castiel, he slowly took a few steps back.

“I’ll just be,” he awkwardly pointed at the door, “back later..?”

_What was he hoping for, really. Just how much of a socially inept person is he that he just can’t see things the way it is.. That Dean is not magically single and ready to mingle? Not with Castiel anyway. Because Castiel is Dean’s best friend, but never more. Heck, with what’s happening between them, they’re barely even friends now. How could someone like him even_ —before he could finish his internal monologuing, a voice greeted him. Though it was not the voice he wanted to hear.

“Hi, Castiel. Sorry about that..” Lisa tries to approach him with caution, how very thoughtful of her. Of course Dean would rather be with her then some guy that’s too much of a coward to even admit his feelings aloud.

“N-no it’s okay, Lisa. _I_ should be apologizing for interrupting you two.”

Lisa’s giggle brought sparkles to her eyes. How can Castiel _not_ see it. Lisa and Dean are perfect for each other. A handsome selfless man and a beautiful perfect lady.

“I was about to go, actually.”

“Lisa, it’s okay, _really_ , I can go back later,” Castiel is not ready to face Dean alone after what just happened.

“No Castiel, _really_ , I don’t want to intrude on your home anymore than I’ve had.”

But of course Lisa is perfect, all polite and considerate like that, “Okay, if you insist.. Take care, Lisa.” The two shared a small smile and waved to each other, before Castiel enters the flat.

Dean was nowhere to be seen. As expected. Still angry at Castiel and perhaps even more so now that he’s interrupted Dean’s romantic moment. Sighing to himself, Castiel approaches Dean’s bedroom and gave it a soft knock.

“Dean, I’m sorry.. For everything,” getting silence for a response, Castiel continues, trying to hide the sadness in his voice, “Dean will you open this door, or at least answer me.. Please?”

Again with the silence. More proof that Dean doesn’t want him here.

 

* * *

 

Hearing the footsteps leave, Dean can’t help but feel like the worst jerk _ever_. The sadness behind Cas’ voice was real. Of course, who wouldn’t be? Being avoided by your flatmate and supposed lifetime-best-friend. But opening the door will only lead to Dean trying to tell Cas that it was a mistake. That he didn’t kiss Lisa, that Lisa initiated it, that he rejected her, because the one he’s in love with is Castiel.

Deciding that no, he wont let his feelings get in the way of his friendship, Dean picked his phone to contact his one voice of reason. Sammy.

“Sam, y-you said if I need to talk, you’ll listen, right..?”

“Im all ears, Dean,” at the sound of his brother, Dean manage to calm down a bit.

“I messed up, Sam. Cas saw Lisa kissed me and I _just_ , I ran away..”  
  
“Wait back up, Dean kissed Lisa??”

“Why in the hell did he—”

“Is that Charlie and Jo?” the understanding came onto Dean, ”Sam, am I in loudspeaker?”

At the silence from the other side of the call, Dean can’t help but think that he’s really hit a bullseye. “You little _shit_. You guys think this is funny, _huh_? Im hanging up. _Fuck you_ and your ‘ _all ears’_ Sam!”

“Wait Dea—“

_Well fuck that voice of reason_. Sam might be his brother and best friend but if he and the other’s are gonna treat him like their personal entertainment, Dean might as well avoid all of them. Getting outside of his room for a drink, Dean completely forgets that he was iavoiding Castiel. Though looking around the flat, Cas is nowhere to be seen.

Sagging with disappointment he didn’t knew he had, he grabbed his keys. About to take a drive to his last sanctuary. Although he feels kind of bad for going the her place just after he rejected her, but at least Lisa genuinely wants him around. Right?

 

* * *

 

 

Returning back to the flat, Castiel should’ve expect Dean to no longer be around. Dean’s favorite Chinese and apple pie he excessively bought for peacemaking was really a dumb idea anyway.

After seeing Lisa and Dean, Castiel knows he can’t stay. Not if he truly wants Dean to be happy. With that resolve in mind, he starts to pack a little. He’ll have to explain to Dean that he’s moving out in a few days. He can’t afford to pack his lifetime worth of things in a day, not to mention he has no clue where to move out to.

He can tell Dean that commuting everyday to his workplace is too much a hassle after all. Even though all that hassle is _worth it_ , if he could get to eat Dean’s home-cooked meals and be greeted by that warm smile. _But what’s the difference anyway?_ These days their relationship is already like that of a client and maid. The warm smile was no longer there. Yeah, he’ll just hire a maid when he finds a place to stay. 

He’ll have to properly explain that it has nothing to do with the current situation. Nothing to do with how Dean is avoiding him, because being the selfless person that he is, Dean will undoubtedly blame himself.

Lost in his thoughts, Castiel didn’t hear the sound of the door opening. Although the distinct smell of alcohol suddenly permeating the air was already a good sign of sorts, supposedly.

“Cas..? What are you doing?” Dean wobbled a bit upon entering, “great, you’re leaving. Guess no one actually likes me, huh?”

“Dean, what do you mean?”

“Drop the pretense, Cas. I _know_ now, I’m just a douche. All this time.. Sam, Jo, Charlie, probably Gabe too, you’re all just messing with me, hanging out ‘cos you pity me. Guess everyone’s just _too_ tired to keep up with the keep-Dean-happy-charade, _huh_..”

Wow, just how much did Dean drink to get _that_ drunk when he’s one of the best drinkers Castiel knows?

And with all that going on in Dean’s mind, what does that make Castiel? His lifetime best friend that apparently knows nothing of said best friend’s worries. Dean really deserves someone better.

“Dean, you’re drunk right now. Everything’s going to be all right in the morning..”

At that, Dean scoffed, “you mean like what happened when _you_ got drunk?”

Castiel never really did found out what he did when he got drunk. But really, when Dean insistently reminds him like that, he can’t help but think he did something really unspeakable. So unspeakable that sober Dean was _too_ kind to remind him of.

_Tch_ , just how bad did he mess things up? Maybe if Dean were to tell him what he did, he can fix this up. _Yeah_ , it might not be too late to fix their relationship.

“Dean, I can’t keep apologizing for what I _don’t know_ I did, as you said before, I—“

“You kissed me Cas! _That’s_ what happened. And if you keep on apologizing, what does—”

Well _shit_. That’s explains _a lot_. Of course his drunken self would shamelessly kiss and confess his feelings to Dean. _Oh dear Lord_ , he was the one that left that hickey didn’t he? And then Lisa found out, and while Dean was trying to reassure her that it was _just_ Castiel being a dumb drunk, of course he would appear again to interrupt and mess it all up. Again.

“ _God_ , I’m really sorry Dean, I didn’t mean to—“

“Get out, Cas." 

“Dean, I—“

“Out!”

Well at least now he doesn’t need to explain to Dean why he’s leaving. Who needs his things anyway? A hotel has all those things already. With his most important stuff and the few things he’s already packed, Castiel took off.

 

* * *

 

 

After the talk with Dean and the incident with Castiel, Sam decided that he, Charlie, Jo and Gabriel need to meet up and actually discuss the mess unfolding between their two friends.

Amidst their discussion, Sam got a call from Dean. A call that judging from Dean’s choice of words means he’s going to talk about Cas. So of course he’s going to put it up on loudspeaker for everyone to further analyze later. What he forgot to think of was Charlie and Jo’s impulse of speaking their thoughts out loud.

Now, with what’s done being done, Sam can’t help but feel the guilt suffocating him. Jo and Charlie in a state no different than him. Gabriel though..

“Holy _shit_ , my baby-bro’s in love with Dean,” Gabriel suddenly says as he clasped his hands.

“Wait what?” Charlie and Jo said almost in unison, partially glad to have the tension lighten up. 

“Gabe, this is not the time.. Didn’t you _hear_ what Dean said? We seriously messed up this time, dude.”

“No, _no_ think about it Sam.. When he was drunk with _only_ us, he surely didn’t grope or kiss any of us senseless,” Gabe tries to explain, “he’s only done it to Dean _because_ it’s Dean.”

“Oh. My. God.”

“Ok, that makes a hell lotta’ sense.”

“Guys, we might _not_ actually be right about Cas’ feelings.. Can’t we just—fix this situation with Dean first? I don’t want to hurt Dean any further than we already have..” Sam says to the group, his kicked-puppy expression not even a pretense. 

The group of four just hadn’t realize how much of a mess things already are.

So when Sam went to Cas and Dean’s the next morning, he absolutely did not expect to find Dean passed out at the flat’s floor. Far from any couch or his bedroom. Cas nowhere in sight.

“Dean! _Dean!_ Wake up!”

“Ugh.. Tone it _down_ dude.”

“What happened man..?”

Dean was silent for a moment before he took Sam’s hand to sit properly, “Don’t think I’ve forgotten the loudspeaker incident, Sammy.”

“I know, Dean. And that was my fault, really.. So let me make it up to you?”

After a few minutes of silence where Sam gets Dean a glass of water and some tylenolwhile Dean tries to stay conscious, Dean told Sam what happened.

Starting with how he called Lisa to come over to pick up the things she left the last time she had to stop by, one of them being _the_ bra. Of how she came over to pick Ben up along with a quick shower as they were going to some _fancy_ wedding of a close friend of Lisa’s.

Though one thing led to another and somehow Lisa confessed. Only for Dean to tell her that he’s in love with Cas. Resulting to her _‘I’m just no match for him, huh?’_ so _of course_ Dean couldn’t reject Lisa a second time when she asked for a ‘one-time’ kiss. A kiss which Castiel just happen to see. And how things went spiraling down from there.

Dean being insensitive and actually going to Lisa for comfort when _he_ was the one that rejected Lisa just earlier that day. Deserving Lisa’s slap and thus drinking _some_ (okay, maybe a lot) of his feelings away. Finding Cas packing up to finally leave him—one of his greatest fears, actually happening. Telling Cas what happened that night. The kiss they shared, only for Cas to _apologize_ about it.

“I told him Sammy, I told him that he kissed me. That if he kept on apologizing, what would _that_ make of my feelings? And he just—he friggin’ apologized for it, Sam, _again_. Said he didn’t mean to—” Dean stopped. He can’t help the quiver on his voice, but he’s _not_ going to cry, not in front of his lil’ brother, not if he can help it, and not for a guy that _didn’t mean to_ get Dean to fall even harder for him.

 

* * *

 

The days passed. For the first few days, Dean woke up early and stayed up late. Preparing Cas’ meals and heating them up. Waiting for Cas to walk through that door and their lives could just get back to normal. _Fuck sexual-romantic relationships._ At this rate, Dean just want his old Castiel back. His lifetime _platonic_ best friend.

Friday night still occurs (without Cas, of course) their usual banter seemed to drown in the tension. From the loudspeaker incident to not saying anything _Cas-related_. Everyone seemed to thread around Dean carefully.

Saving his friends from misery, Dean started making up excuses to bail from Friday nights. Because undoubtedly, they all know where Cas is and what he’s up to, and of course they all still keep in touch.

Drowning himself in work, or so Dean told his friends, when actually he took a break leave. And days are passed with Dean thinking up scenarios of Cas coming back.

Maybe he should just stop working so he wont _miss_ Cas coming back, like, at all. He doesn’t really need the money to pay the rent anyway. Because as it turns out, Cas is still paying for it. That stupid angel of a guy.

The days became weeks, Dean stopped cooking for Castiel’s portion. And after the weeks, Dean stopped cooking all in all. He doesn’t do much everyday, so he never really gets tired enough to need food. Or so he convinced himself. Besides, the food seems to lack _something_ to induce his appetite. Maybe that something is a blue eyed guy with a love for honey. Who knows? 

The situation was now plain and simple. Cas left. And he’s not coming back.

But _when will_ Dean ever get over him?

Trying his _damnest_ to hold the tear threatening to spill, Dean chuckled into his—third, fourth, fifth(?); who cares—can of beer.

He thought to himself..

Not anytime soon.

Not soon enough.

Never.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew, so much drama, I know.. Hope it’s not too much though?
> 
> I’m debating on ending the the story at the next chapter or adding another..


	4. Being (dumbly) Drunk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Final chapter!  
> Thanks for sticking up with me for this journey.. :)
> 
> Added a sex scene at the very end of it all, if you're not here for that, it’s fairly obvious when to skip it.. I think  
> Oh and the panty appears. Though briefly so I didn’t tag it. Should I..?
> 
> So I guess the rating for this fic ended up being explicit  
> (I tried my best to keep it PG, I swear! Not :b)

“Cassie. It’s about Dean.”

Sighing heavily, Castiel turned and looked behind him, pinching the bridge of his nose. Finding a shorter man looking at him, the mischievous grin normally latched onto that face nowhere to be seen.

“Gabriel, I don’t know how you found this address. But what I _do_ know is that you and the others are aware that I don’t want to be found. So _please_. I am already trying my best to get out of Dean’s life, whatever it is you have to say about Dean, I—“

“He’s dying Castiel,” the few words effectively stopping Castiel mid-sentence, “oh, so you _do_ care.”

“See for a second there, I thought you were going to continue with-“ Gabriel sarcastically tries to imitate Castiel’s gravelly voice, “- _I don’t care_.”

“This is not funny, Gabriel.” Castiel gives his best death-glare to the blonde man, “what do you mean by he’s dying?”

“Heard you rejected him pretty badly.”

“I didn’t—what does that even have to do with..?”

“Dean’s been drinking Cassie. Drinking beer like its water.”

The taxi ride to the hospital was quiet. Especially after Gabriel explained how everything was a misunderstanding. How all these times they _all_ knew Dean was in love with him. Well except Castiel. The silence was so deafening, drowning Castiel in guilt. Meanwhile, Gabriel kept glancing at him worriedly, tapping his knees repetitively.

How did Dean end up thinking that Castiel rejected _him_? Castiel tried to remember their last conversation.. When the realization downed him. He was apologizing when Dean brought up what happened that night. Apologizing for kissing Dean. But, how he was apologizing for all the wrong reasons that Dean thought it to be.

“Sam found him unconscious in the living room. Apparently, Sam left his favorite beanie during the last game night,” Gabriel chuckled sadly, “none of us realized how bad his condition was after you left.”

Castiel buried his face in his hands for the rest of the journey. It felt like an eternity before they reached the hospital. Following Gabriel to the emergency room, Castiel’s steps get heavier. Like chains were holding him down. When they arrived at the room, Gabriel knocked softly before opening the door. Only after Gabriel entered did Castiel took a peek at the room. Revealing the whole gang, finally complete again.

“Gabriel where were—“ at the sight of Castiel though, Sam practically went feral.

“Sam, calm down!” Jo shout-whispers, as Charlie glanced pointedly to the bed whereDean lies.

The sight of Dean lying there, unconscious, face pale as the hospital blanket—positively broke Castiel. All his will to defend himself, to justify that this was a misunderstanding, slipped through his thoughts. His mindset on the idea that _this is because of me._ The foot _barely_ inside the room felt so unworthy. He wanted to just go away. Far away.

That was when Gabriel pushing him outside snapped him back to reality. Sam was striding forward, held down by Jo as Gabriel urged Castiel to get outside. So Sam can snap without disturbing Dean, perhaps. Sam managed to shove Castiel quite considerably before Gabriel had to hold him in place instead of Jo, as Charlie closed the door behind them. The five of them crowding the hustle and bustle of the hallway. Though that did not stop the hate seeping out of Sam’s next words.

“You broke his heart, Cas! He was _stupidly. Unbelievably. Completely._ In love with you! Yet you.. Because of you he, he almost—” wiping his mouth, Sam turned his face away, “Why are you even here?”

The last question in particular stabbed right into him. Why was he even here? What was Castiel even hoping for?

“I don’t know..” Castiel muttered under his breath.

“You don’t know?” Sam laughed sarcastically, “you don’t _fucking_ know?!”

“Sam just… Stop.” Charlie herself was trying her best to stay neutral.

“Cas didn’t _know_. Let's just talk this over..”

“ _Talk this over_?? Talk _what_ over? Oh, _I know_ , how about how we _all_ bought his blatant ‘ _work caught up to me_ ’ lie? Oh, oh, or how when he stopped going to Friday nights, we were all _relieved_ instead of worried?” the whole gang was silent, the truth behind Sam’s words was clawing onto them, but that didn’t stop Sam. ”How about how _none of us_ noticed when he stopped eating and _just_ … drank??”

Before Sam’s volume dropped considerably as he mutters, “..how much of an ungrateful, selfish, _useless_ brother does _that_ make me..?”

Sam sat on the steel chairs among the walls, the chairs creaking over his body weight. His usually humongous form shrinking, his face buried in his hands.

“..Sam..” a voice from inside the room had everyone’s attention immediately. They all rushed to check the room. Sam, Jo, Charlie, even Gabriel. Everyone but Castiel.

Standing beside the doorframe, Castiel saw a Dean with his eyes open, a small smile plastered on his face. That smile they usually share after a bad joke, or a childish debate, or those late night televisions. That smile that Castiel doesn’t deserve anymore.

When Dean glanced over the room and saw Castiel, his gaze stopped. And the room stilled. Everyone was silent, waiting for either Castiel or Dean to say something, to break the tense atmosphere.

That was when Dean looked away. And said, almost a whisper.

“Can I have a word with Cas?” when none of them moved, Dean continued, “In private.”

Sam was the most reluctant to move. Giving Castiel a proper glare before he left, shutting the door behind him.

“So, you came back,” Dean’s voice was raspy. Unlike the usual confident Dean, it sounded doubtful, disbelieving, almost as if Dean is scared.

“I did.” was the only response Castiel could think of.

“I hate you Cas,” Dean paused before he breaths in and continues, “I really do.”

Of course, Dean hates him now. Who wouldn’t? Any chance of Dean being in love with him before must’ve dropped to completely zero now.

But _that_ being the first few words they share again after all that’s happened. That just rubbed Castiel the wrong way. Anger rose within him as if to burn away the sadness.

“Well, I’m sorry! I apologize for ruining your life! You know, I _endured_ seeing you and Lisa, together, filled with so much joy and-and love. And _the second_ I thought you were better off without me, I left, Dean! I left. Even when it kills me. Even when I was in love with you. What more do you want from me..?”

And that was it. That was when the anger burned away and the sadness seeped in. His ugly jealousy adding to the mix too. Castiel can’t believe that in the end, he confessed his feelings, in just the _worst_ way possible.

Dean chuckled to himself before he drew a deep breath and started talking again, “I really hate you y’know.. How you like honey _so bad_ that I have to ruin all the food I make with it. I hate how—”

Castiel can do many things. But standing still while the love of his life admits and _lists_ the reasons why he hates Castiel is not one of them. Making his way slowly to the door, Dean’s next words stopped him.

“—adorable you are when you use air-quotes and those damned emoticons all the time. I hate how sexy your unruly hair makes you look. I hate how I keep thinking of you. I hate how you’re still willing to stick with me even when I’m _way_ out of your league.” Dean practically choked out the next sentences, “I hate that I.. That I need you. That I can’t hate you.”

“Dean, I—” hands still on the doorknob, Castiel turned his head towards Dean. Dean that was smiling so perfectly at him. A smile that looked sad on his lips but with joy and hope, glistering in his eyes.

“I hate you for not kissing me senseless right now.”

“Now you’re just making things up.”

The two then shared that smile, that turned into a chuckle before time seemed to stop. And Castiel strode to close the distance. His hands placed carefully atop of Dean’s as Castiel leaned for their lips to meet. The kiss was sweet, tentative. Neither of them wanting to make a single mistake. Neither of them wanted to move away, to part.

Unbeknownst to them though, the long kiss they shared elevated Dean’s heart monitor machine by quite a bit. The door was abruptly opened. Revealing a nurse ready with equipment for ‘worst case scenarios’, Sam with eyes so wide it was almost comical, Charlie trying her best but failing to hold a squeal, Jo and Gabriel smirking knowingly.

Like teenagers caught making out by their parents, Castiel jumped away as Dean quickly turned his face away, hiding his mouth behind the palm of his hands. Though their hands were still entwined, hands that they then awkwardly took back while blushing profusely. That was when Gabriel snorted and Jo positively cackled. The nurse went over to Dean, checking him _just in case_ , a knowing smirk plastered onto her face.

The hospital demanded Dean stay at least for the night, as the percentage of alcohol in Dean’s blood _was_ worrisome. While the rest of them adamantly refuses to leave. They took turns to go back home to bring some form of blanket or sleeping back to sleep over with. The hospital stopped trying to get them to leave when Gabriel suddenly disappears with a; _let me handle this_. That none of them question. Because Gabriel’s connections are just not something they want to get involved in nor something _anyone_ should question.

Thus there they were, the six of them forming a circle like their usual Friday nights. Dean was dozing slightly while still leaning on his elevated bed, Sam asleep, sprawled beside Dean’s feet, no doubt will wake up with a sour muscle or two. Jo and Charlie on the sofa wrapped in a shared blanket. Gabriel cocooned in a sleeping bag. And Castiel himself was sitting on a chair beside Dean’s bed, looking at his friends—his family. Just realizing how much he missed them. How much he missed Dean.

His hand was grasping Dean’s, their fingers entwined. Castiel gave Dean’s hand a kiss before putting it back, still entwined. Making soothing circles with his thumb, Castiel slowly closed his eyes. Letting Dean’s steady heartbeat and warm hands lull him to one of his most peaceful sleep.

 

* * *

  

Waking up, Castiel was surprised to find the room empty except him and Dean, their hands still holding onto one another. Embarrassed that their friends must’ve seen them like that, he tried to release it, though accidentally stirring Dean awake.

“Hi, Cas,” Dean murmured, noticing their hands, Dean blushed, “so are we like.. a thing now?”

“Do you want _us_ to be?” Castiel’s question was undoubtedly not what Dean expected as Dean’s cheek grew even redder if that was even possible.

“Us,” Dean muttered to himself.

Noticing that Castiel heard him, he tried to cover it up, “Y-yeah I’d like.. _us_.. to be like a- _a thing_..” Dean’s volume lessened the more he spoke, ending with a half-whisper, “B-boyfriends..?”

“Just kiss, already!” a voice, Charlie’s, no doubt, appeared as the door opened with a bang.

“Here we thought you’d be testing how sturdy these beds are, already,” Gabriel said, wiggling his eyebrows in the most lecherous way that even made Jo blush.

“Dude! I did _not_ need that mental image, thank you very much.” Sam said as he scrunched his face.

They all chatted over the Chinese take out the four of them went out to buy. Because no way in hell are they eating hospital food when a Chinese restaurant exists in walking distance from the hospital.

After they all made an agreement to supervise Dean and absolutely deprive him off of alcohol for a very long time—in which Dean eye-rolls to, they checked out of the hospital, splitting up. Most of them to clean up and resume their lives, working as usual. Sam was the one on duty to take Dean back for now. As Castiel took the day off to get back to his apartment first and move back to the flat later.

Passing the apartment complex to bid farewell to his landlord and pick the very little things he has, Castiel silently thank the gods that he hasn’t settled down in the new apartment he was living at.

Driving back to the flat— _their_ flat, he wondered how things could’ve gone much easier had he or Dean confessed _way_ before. Castiel can’t help the smile widening on his face, though. He can finally stop hiding his feelings from Dean.

Putting his spare key into the keyhole, he sighed of relief he didn’t know he held. Dean didn’t change the locks. Opening the door though, Castiel was confused to find the room, apparently still dark.

Closing the door and turning the switch on, Castiel noticed a figure behind him moved.

“Howdy, tiger,” was all the warning Castiel got before a pair of perfect lips attacked Castiel’s. Hands roaming around the surface, tracing Castiel’s body, pinning Castiel to the door.

“Dean!” Castiel gasped into the kiss, too shocked to respond with anything else. Dean went and trailed on Castiel’s jaw, slowly moving down to Castiel’s collarbone and even lower..

“Dean, a-aren’t we moving too fast?” Castiel was fumbling about, trying to push Dean away but reluctant at the same time.

“I’ve waited for _too_ long, Cas.”

With his mouth still latched onto Castiel’s collarbone, Dean’s hands went to grasp onto Castiel’s carefully, a hint of nervousness behind his determination. Those hands guided Castiel’s down. Castiel froze as he recognizes the fabric underneath Dean’s jeans.

“Dean, are those..?”

The blush that accompanied Dean’s smirk was enough of an answer to Castiel’s incomplete question. At the realization, he positively growled.

Dean shuddered at the deep guttural sound Cas made. His already hardened dick was now fully awake. Dean can’t help the whimper that slipped through him as the tightness of his jeans grew. The silky fabric and lacy underwear confining his lower bits maddeningly so.

Now Cas was the one doing the pinning. One of his hands held Dean to the wall as the other groped onto Dean’s butt cheeks. Eliciting a groan from Dean. At the opening, Cas’ tongue surges to explore the inside of Dean’s mouth. Muffling the sounds of their moans.

As Dean lightly pushed onto Cas’ chest, positively out of breath, Cas’ tongue moved to Dean’s ear. Tracing the shape of his ear and biting Dean’s earlobe lightly.

“Want you _so bad_ , Dean..” Cas’ usual raspy voice sounds even sexier out of breath.

Dean shudders at the ghost of the other man’s breath. “Bedroom, _now_.”

The two made their way to Dean’s bedroom, as Cas’ former room was unattended and possibly dusty. Knocking over a few things here and there, never once did they let go of each other completely. A trail of their clothes was left behind, all the way to the bed. Where Cas was now only wearing his unzipped jeans and Dean in the pink laced panties that are hugging his genitals.

“Lube?” Cas asked.

“On top of that table, beside the lamp.” Dean pointed out still panting.

“Someone’s prepared.”

At the grin on Cas’ face, Dean blushed and was about to deny it, though Cas kissed him to silence. A hand holding Dean’s chin in place and on the other, a bottle of lube. Placing the bottle at the edge of the bed, Cas gave Dean a soft push to the chest.

The soft push was all it took for Dean to lay on the bed, Cas joining in a heartbeat. Their hands can’t seem to get enough of each other. As if making up for all the times they didn’t touch. Laying on top of Dean, Cas was trailing Dean’s body down with his tongue, leaving Dean into a quivering mess.

Without warning, Cas flipped Dean around. Dean’s face landing on the bedsheets.

“Cas, wha-“

Was all Dean managed to say before he felt a tug on his panties, jolting his hips forward to chase the fleeting friction.

“Dean.. You look so sexy in these.. Too bad it’s gotta go, for now..” Cas huskily said, taking off the panties gratifyingly. Giving more friction to Dean’s dick, but just _not_ enough.

At the exposure, the cold air left Dean shivering a bit. Then something wet traced his hole, making him shiver even more, for a whole other reason. And Dean realized that it was Cas’ tongue, a tongue that is now not only lapping on his hole but poking into it. Dean unashamedly moaned at the feeling.

Waiting out for Castiel, Dean had already prepared himself as thorough as he can. But _dear God,_ imagining it during the prep can’t even compare with how it feels in reality. Dean tries to muffle his moans with the pillow he somehow managed to grab.

Noticing how Dean went quiet and his moans muffled, Castiel paused to give a playful bite on Dean’s inner thighs. A bite that caused Dean to raise his head in shock and gasps as he tries to bite down yet another moan.

“ _Dean_ , let me hear _you_.” Cas’ words along with the hand lightly grasping onto Dean’s cock evoked yet another strangled moan as Dean’s breath hitches.

“ _Fuck_ , Cas. I can’t hold out much longer if you—” his words were cut off as Castiel took another playful bite, this time on Dean’s sides, tugging onto the little pudge on Dean’s stomach. At the same time, a lubed up finger entered Dean’s hole.

“Cas—” Dean groaned at the probing finger now wiggling inside him.

Dean’s pleased groan seemed to be enough of an indication for Castiel to proceed, as a second finger followed suit. Castiel’s middle and forefinger knuckles deep are now moving in a scissoring motion. Little groans and moans along with the squelching sound of Cas’ fingers inside Dean was the only sound in the room.

“Cas, want you. _Please_. I’ve prepped before so you don’t need to—“ Dean conveyed in a series, growing even more impatient.

A third finger joined in and the fingers now swirl around, “ _Dean_. You’re still too tight. I-I don’t want to hurt you.”

Castiel himself was trying his best to hold his urges. Shivering now and then in response to Dean’s noises, trying to control his breathing. But when Castiel brushed onto something inside Dean, it was as if their patience finally hit its limits.

“ _Holy shit_ , oh God, Cas—!” Dean moaned out as his hole clenched onto Castiel’s fingers. Castiel’s dick was throbbing in his pants at the sound, pants even though unzipped was now tight beyond comfortable, he needs to get his cock out and inside Dean _as soon as possible._

Even more now as Dean quivered harshly and slumped a bit, seemingly just experienced premature ejaculation.

“Cas, what the fuck was—“

Cas’ fingers prod _that_ spot again, garnering a delicious cry from Dean. “Fuck, Cas, stop! nggh—” And a jolt of Dean’s arms as he sagged onto the bed.

Worried that he might hurt Dean somehow, Castiel halted his movements, pulling his fingers out.

“Dean, what’s wrong?”

“I just _came_ , Cas, it hurts, but it feels _good_. I'm turning insane..” Dean tried to turn his body, wavering a bit at the movement.

Facing Cas, Dean can’t help the hitch in his breath at the sight of Cas. Face flushed, hair even more askew than usual, and that bulge in Cas’ pants. _Dayum son_.

Feeling the trickle of lube from his hole, Dean blushed, and even more as he pulls Cas’ underwear down, revealing Cas’ cock in all its glory, already leaking precum. Will _that_ even fit? At Cas’ chuckle, Dean realized that he just said his thoughts out loud.

“They say it’s easier if we were to do it ‘doggy style’, I think..” Even in such a moment, Cas still uses his damn air-quotes.

“Then what are you waiting for?” Dean swiped his lips with his tongue alluringly before shifting again. Burying his face to the bed, hands supporting his weight, Dean tilts his hips upwards, making sure to reveal his—no doubt still trembling hole, to Cas.

The request was practically a command, all the more reason for Castiel to obey. After regaining a bit of self-control, Castiel placed his hands on Dean’s butt cheeks, one at each, holding Dean in place while bracing himself. Then the blunt head of Castiel’s cock pushed in, slowly.

“ _Shit,_ Dean. You’re so _tight_.” Castiel breathed out, wincing in pleasure.

Though the moment the head passed Dean’s tight ring, Castiel can’t help the involuntary thrust of his hips. “ _Fuck_. Sorry, I can’t—“

The thrusts kept on accelerating. And for every time Castiel got deep, he pulled out just as far. Leaving only the tip of his dick before slamming back in. Dean moaned after every thrust, his hands clenching tightly onto the bed sheets.

The zipper of Castiel’s jeans kept on digging onto Dean’s balls, but the tiny tinge of pain seemed to add to the pleasure. Castiel’s hands were now moving upwards. Raking Dean’s well-toned body. Every so often giving Dean a pinch on his nipples. As Castiel murmurs Dean’s name occasionally, breathing into Dean’s ears.

Over time, Cas’ thrusts were closing into _that_ special spot before. At times brushing it but never quite actually hitting it _right_. Dean tries to shift his hips, to meet Cas’ thrust right _there_. Like a persistent itch that wasn’t scratched right, Dean just whined longer. The one time Cas nailed that spot though, Dean saw stars. He moaned so loud that upon realizing, proceeded to gnaw on his fist. Muffling the moans. But Cas just wouldn’t have it.

“Dean, _no,_ ” Cas said as he pulled Dean’s hand away.

Now both of Dean’s hands are held tightly by Cas. Cas that is now nailing that spot perfectly over and over again. Making Dean moan and curse. Every. Single. Time. Until Dean can feel the tightness in his dick, _that_ feeling somewhere below his belly.

“Cas! _Fuck_! Wait, I-I’m—“

“Come for me, Dean.”

One last deep thrust was all it took for Dean to reach his limit. Crying out, Dean can’t help and shout out, “ _Cas_!” as his insides clenched onto Castiel’s throbbing cock, pulling Cas to his own ejaculation.

Cas’ nibbling turned into a groaned bite—that was _hot damn_ and will undoubtedly bruise—onto Dean’s shoulder. While his hands were still pinning him down—and gods, did the idea of Cas _fucking into him_ gave butterflies in Dean’s stomach (it could actually be Cas’ cum as the man _was_ gushing his seeds into Dean). Cas released his hold on Dean and slumped forward.

Registering the leaking cum from Dean’s hole, Castiel slightly panicked.

“ _Shit_. I’m sorry for coming inside you Dean, I mean you weren’t complaining-but that doesn’t give me the right to—” Cas tries to pull out his still balls-deep cock in Dean, stirring a small whimper from Dean.

“It’s fine, Cas, seriously.” Dean was adamant on keeping Cas as close as possible. His now free hands helped his body move backward, chasing onto Cas’ hips, evoking a groan from Cas as Cas stopped moving. “I kinda like it like this..”

Cas slumped sideways, tugging Dean along. Now their two sated bodies were side by side. _Fuck, I’m the little spoon_ , Dean thought to himself. But he wasn’t exactly complaining. Cas was embracing him from behind while their hands meet near Dean’s stomach. Cas’ hand was rubbing gently on Dean’s swollen wrists.

“Well, that was..” Dean’s breathing was also stabilizing.

“Astonishing,” Castiel muttered over his nuzzling onto Dean’s nape.

“You and your vocabularies.” puffing a small laugh in response, Dean continued, “by the way, I’m kinda changing my mind.. No offense, but this is getting disgusting.”

Dean pointed to their bottom part, where Castiel’s limp cock was still buried in him and Dean was now positively leaking.

“Y-yeah, I’ll get some wet towel or something..”

Castiel pulling out got Dean shivering a little. Already feeling the emptiness. Dean watched as Cas’ back disappears through the door and tries to bring himself to stand up and clean up a bit too.

What he did not expect was the sudden weakness in his knees. He’s going to feel _Cas_ for at least a week. The thought made him blush. He is so not going get an end of this. Especially from Gabriel. _Fuck_ , he thought. But Dean did not regret a single thing.

Finding Dean crouching by the bed, his face buried in it made Castiel think of the worst again. _Did Dean regret this?_ Was automatically in Castiel’s thoughts. But he shoved it to the back of his mind as he went up to Dean and placed a hand on the other man’s back. Offering the warm wet towel revealed a Dean with the perfect blush that highlighted his freckles.

“Hey, Cas.” Dean gave Castiel a dopey smile. “Mind giving me a hand to the bathroom? We could go for round two.” He raised his brows suggestively. The joy behind Dean’s words apparent.

Castiel proceeded to help Dean go to the bathroom. Although perhaps bridal-carrying was not what Dean had in mind as he put up quite a struggle before he just gave in. And though they did not have a ‘round two’ in the bathroom as Dean put it (slipping and hitting your head is a very unattractive idea, they agreed). They did share quite the heated make-out session as they showered.

 

* * *

  

The next Friday night session was spent on their flat again, to commemorate the finally official couple and Dean’s late recovery. Which was basically their friends—best friends, family, whatever, you get the point—teasing them to no end. Dean swore they seemed to have a bet on who can make Dean or Cas blush the reddest shade of red. But they all have to make a run for their money when Cas ended up digging his own grave..

Dean was getting their usual share of beer (getting himself soda before any of them can kill him with their glares). Distributing one to each of them when he sat down beside Cas, holding his soda in a hand and Cas’ bottle in his other. Offering Cas the last bottle, Castiel declined, sadly (or should I say; sappily).

“I don’t need a drink to get drunk, Dean, I’m already drunk. Drunk in love, with you.”

Dean’s eyes grew wide at that and he almost choked on his saliva—of all things. Thank the gods for small miracles, he has yet taken a sip from his soda. That _will_ hurt.

“That was corny even for you, Cas!” Jo exclaimed before entering a myriad of cackles.

Dean hid his blush with a small chuckle at Charlie’s ‘ _awwww_ ’ although that reaction not-so-gradually shifts to Charlie’s trademark _god-I-can’t-breathe-lol_.

“My baby bro’s all grown up now,” Gabriel fake wiped a tear in between his cackles.

While Sam just choke-spit on his beer, trying his best to refrain laughing maniacally too. Earning an instant ‘ _ewww that is just nasty Sammy_ ’ from Dean as the others are still too busy laughing at Cas. While Cas grew redder and redder over time; a smile on his face remains, still.

Apparently, Cas thought the line was romantic. _Pfft._ Dean thought so too. But no way in _hell_ was he gonna tell Cas that. Or everyone in the room at that. He’ll just have to convey it through his actions later, in bed. He thought to himself as he gave Castiel a peck on Cas’ cheek and whispered a, “love you too, babe.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaand done!  
> That was the first time I wrote a sex scene >///<  
> So embarrassing lol
> 
> Thanks for reading!  
> Have a nice day y’all~

**Author's Note:**

> I've spent years debating whether or not I should post fanfics even though I've typed them up. Thinking of how I'm not a professional writer and it's never gonna be good enough. But then I stumbled onto destiel, and I just couldn't resist. 
> 
> So there goes my first fic’s first chapter (lol that’s mouthful) and hopefully more to come.. Please be kind. ;w;
> 
> And yes, English is not my first language nor is this work beta'd so constructive inputs are welcomed. Also kudos. ;)


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